And so here I am, months later. I feel lost, as if I’m wondering in the woods, in a slightly confused daze. Bare foot and completely oblivious to where to go and what to do next.
I spend hours soul searching nowadays. I try to figure out what I want to do and how I want to move forward and then I realise that I just don’t want to. I just don’t want to plan what to do next. History has taught me that planning doesn’t seem to work out for me. Envisioning my future sets me up for disappointment. So this time, I’d rather just blindly stroll through the woods. Perhaps this way, I’ll stumble upon my path, because attempting to carve it doesn’t seem to be my forte.
So what’s been going on the past few months? Well, a little this and a little that. A roller coaster of emotions, as is the story of my life, but a particularly topsy-turvy, loopy (no pun intended), up and down roller coaster ride. Perhaps one where you sit down after a dodgy kebab as well, just to liven up the experience. I’m single. I’m not alone, I’m not lonely and I’m not desperate. I’m content going to bed with an abundance of unnecessary pillows surrounding me and waking up spreadeagled across the double bed, just because I can. A lot of quality family time, bonding with family across the pond and attempt to get some sort of routine. Yet something is missing, and through the fog in the woods, I can’t quite see what it is.