Mariya Ali

Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

Month: March 2016 (Page 1 of 5)

March 31st – Finances

Today, I will focus on taking responsibility for my present financial circumstances, no matter how overwhelming that area of my life may feel and be.

The Language of Letting Go

SALE!

BUY ONE GET ONE FREE!

CLEARANCE!

I’m such a retail therapy sucker. Except I became lazy when it came to trekking to the mall or Oxford Street, so now my vice is online shopping. Amazon prime is the best thing that has ever been invented.

Or not. Exhibit A: My bank statement. So many little things that I don’t think about really do add up.

Today, and for the next month, I will hold myself accountable before I purchase anything.

 

 

March 30th – Experiment

Today, I will give myself permission to experiment in life. I will stop rigidly holding myself back, and I will jump in when jumping in feels right. Help me let go of my need to deprive myself of being alive.

The Language of Letting Go

Based on this article,  below is my list of things to try in April.

1. Do cultural activities

Need a boost of joy? Trying seeing a play or heading to a museum.

 

Curiously, men saw stronger benefits from receptive, or passive, cultural activities (like visiting museums, art exhibitions, concerts or theaters) while women more enjoyed active participation events (like club meetings, singing, outdoor activities and dance).

2. Keep a diary: Rereading it brings joy

To learn to find more gratitude and joy in every day—not just special occasions, the boring days, too—try keeping a diary and re-reading it from time to time.

Researchers who did a variety of experiments involving keeping a journal discovered that “ordinary events came to be perceived as more extraordinary over time” as participants rediscovered them through their older writings.

In other words, simply writing down our ordinary, regular-day experiences is a way of banking up some happiness down the line, when the activities we describe could bring us unexpected joy.

3. Make small talk with a stranger

Chatting up your barista or cashier? Good for your health!

Behavioral scientists gave a group of Chicago train commuters a $5 Starbucks gift card in exchange for striking up a conversation with a stranger during their ride. (While another group kept to themselves.)

Those who started conversations reported a more positive experience than those who had stayed quiet—even though they had predicted they would feel happier being solitary.

It seems that connecting with another person—no matter how briefly—increases our happiness.

4. But have meaningful conversations, too

While positive small talk is great, more substantial conversations could up our happiness quotient even higher.

A study that tracked the conversations of 80 people for 4 days found that, in keeping with the small-talk study, higher well-being is associated with spending less time alone and more time talking to others.

So dive deep in your conversations with friends and loved ones—it’s great for you.

5. Live in the suburbs and get involved

I would have guessed that city dwellers might be the most satisfied with where they live, but in a poll of 1,600 U.S. adults, the highest rate of happiness was found in the suburbs.

So wherever you live, make sure to get involved in your community for maximum happiness.

6. Listen to sad songs: They provide emotional release

How could sad songs make us happy? And why do we seek them out?

That’s the question researchers wanted to answer with a survey of 722 people from around the world.

They discovered that there are 4 main reasons we take comfort in melancholy songs:

  • They allow us to drift off into imagination
  • They might provide us catharsis (emotion regulation)
  • They allow us to relate to a common emotion (empathy), and
  • They’re divorced from our actual problems (no “real-life” implications)

 

Researchers determined that “listening to sad music can lead to beneficial emotional effects such as regulation of negative emotion and mood as well as consolation.”

7. Spend money on experiences, not items

Here’s one that’s easy to understand but might be tougher to fix.

We know that spending money on life experiences will make us happier than spending money on material things (and it does!) but we can’t seem to stop ourselves from choosing the wrong option.

That’s what a study in The Journal of Positive Psychology found as they surveyed people before and after they made purchases.

The series of studies concluded that we’re more likely to spend on items than experiences because we can quantify them more easily and we want to see the best value for our dollars.

However, they found that the study subjects reported that after they spent, experiences brought them greater well-being and they considered them to be a better use of money.

So if we can keep that in mind,  it’s possible to have our cake and eat it, too—definitely something to be happy about!

8. Set tiny, attainable goals: Make someone smile

It might be cliché, but making someone happy will make you happy, too.

And science says the more specific you can be with your goal, the better.

9. Look at beautiful things: Design makes us happy

Could looking at a beautiful object make you feel happier?

The smartphone company HTC conducted a study that says yes.

In a series of laboratory and online experiments, volunteers looked at and interacted with objects that fell into 3 categories: beautiful, functional, or both beautiful and functional.

In general, people feel happier looking at and using beautiful objects that work well.

10. Eat more fruits and veggies

We know being healthier makes us happy, but can carrots give you purpose?

I have to admit I didn’t expect such a direct link between happiness and eating a lot of fruits and vegetables as researchers in New Zealand report.

Their 13-day study of 405 people who kept food diaries showed that people who ate more fruits and vegetables reported higher than average levels of curiosity, creativity, and positive emotions, as well as engagement, meaning, and purpose.

Even more interestingly, participants often scored higher on all of those scales on days when they ate more fruits and vegetables.

“These findings suggest that fruit and vegetable intake is related to other aspects of human flourishing, beyond just feeling happy,” writes the research team.

March 29th – Getting Needs Met

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ytKemD5ISk

Today, everything I need shall be supplied to me.

The Language of Letting Go

This ~one minute clip is a (very) high level overview of the Law of Attraction.

Before I never believed in any of this “new age mumbo jumbo”, as I used to refer to it.

Now, I make sure that I periodically update my vision board to reflect my changing desires. Slowly, surely, it is manifesting, one picture at a time.

March 28th – Balance

Today, I will strive for balance

The Language of Letting Go

Why is it that if you google “balance in life”, the majority of the results are about work-life balance?

This doesn’t sit well for me, so on a personal level, what does balance look like to me?

  • Balance in terms of mood
  • Balance with a healthy vs indulgent lifestyle
  • Balance on what I spend my time on
  • Balance in relationships with significant others, family and friends
  • Balance between a positive and negative outlook
  • Balance with reality and dreams
  • Balance with spending and saving money

Yup, that sounds like a well-balanced outlook.

No pun intended.

(Ok, maybe a little pun intended).

March 27th – After-Burn

Today, I will let any after-burn which sets in after I practice a new recovery behaviour, burn off. I will not take it so seriously. Help me let go of my shame and needless fears about what will happen to me if I really start caring for and loving myself.

The Language of letting go

My pendulum swung from allowing myself to be steamrolled over to being a fortress and not allowing anything in, lest I get hurt again.

Now, I seem to have found my equilibrium.

It seems like it has burnt off.

Although, sometimes I do still shudder.

Oh well.

*work in progress*

March 26th – Gifts, Not Burdens

Today, I will treat myself as thought I am a gift. I will let go of my beliefs I have about being a burden – to my friends, my family and myself.

The Language of Letting Go

An image on my vision board says:

Treat yourself like a trash can and it will show

2

I certainly do fill my body up with “trash” (and yes, it certainly shows :)).

Awesome April is my new health kick, where I will try and nourish my body with healthier food, or at the very least, no more binging on junk. I’ve kept the weight loss off, but I’m sure that if I don’t form new habits, I will lose the battle of the bulge yet again.

I managed to cut short a “my diet starts tomorrow so fudge it” session yesterday. Hopefully I can continue the trend in April!

Phew, one day at a time.

Oh chocolate, how I shall miss thee.

March 25th – Letting Go of Worry

Today, I will know that I don’t have to worry about anything. If I do worry, I will do it with the understanding that I am choosing to worry, and it is not necessary.

The Language of Letting Go

Here is a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don’t worry be happy
In every life we have some trouble
When you worry you make it double
Don’t worry, be happy……

Ain’t got no place to lay your head
Somebody came and took your bed
Don’t worry, be happy
The land lord say your rent is late
He may have to litigate
Don’t worry, be happy
Look at me I am happy
Don’t worry, be happy
Here I give you my phone number
When you worry call me
I make you happy
Don’t worry, be happy
Ain’t got no cash, ain’t got no style
Ain’t got no girl to make you smile
But don’t worry be happy
Cause when you worry
Your face will frown
And that will bring everybody down
So don’t worry, be happy (now)…..

There is this little song I wrote
I hope you learn it note for note
Like good little children
Don’t worry, be happy
Listen to what I say
In your life expect some trouble
But when you worry
You make it double
Don’t worry, be happy……
Don’t worry don’t do it, be happy
Put a smile on your face
Don’t bring everybody down like this
Don’t worry, it will soon pass
Whatever it is
Don’t worry, be happy

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