Ugh. I’m sorry, I’m just going to thought vomit. Because I have feeling sickness.
I’m so tired of figuring out more and more ways in which I am just completely, utterly and entirely f*cked up. I mean, I have so many emotional issues that I don’t even know what’s “normal” about me. I keep thinking that the right circumstances will fix things, but they won’t. The harsh reality is that I just need to suck it up and sort it out, all by my lonesome. Then the victim mentality that I am oh-so-familiar-with kicks in – why me? Why can’t things just fall into place?
But the reality is, they are. Well, mostly. But that elusive Mr Right, well, he remains nowhere to be seen. And in concentrating exclusively on this fact, I continue to feel like a failure. Even though I have a thousand good qualities and great things happening in my life, I feel broken, incomplete and worthless because I “can’t find a guy”. Years of family and cultural pressure have conditioned me to feel this way. Now, it’s up to me, and me alone, to recalibrate.
Jeez, where do I start?