Today, I will be open to negotiating conflicts I have with people. I will strive for balance without being too submissive or too demanding. I will strive for appropriate flexibility in my problem-solving efforts.

The Language of Letting Go

How I used to negotiate conflicts (Pre-Voldy)

  1. Conflict arised
  2. I listened to the other person’s opinion
  3. I raised my concerns and explained why I disagree
  4. I went with the other person’s opinion even though I didn’t necessarily agree with it (normally due to a fear of abandonment – yup, hello again)
  5. Even if they did agree with me after reasoning, I somehow convinced them to go with their original opinion due to guilt
  6. I resented the other person

 

How I used to negotiate conflicts (With Voldy)

  1. I didn’t. I just did what he said because I was afraid of the repercussions
  2. On the rare occasions that I did try to reason with him, we ended up doing what he wanted anyway, because he was either right or I was wrong.

 

How I negotiate conflicts now

  1. Conflict arises
  2. I listen to the other person’s opinion
  3. I express my own opinion and why I disagree
  4. I consider what they said
  5. I take into account how important the conflict topic is to them
  6. If the other party doesn’t fully agree with me, I calmly come to a compromise or acquiesce, if I feel that it was not detrimental and would be beneficial to the other person’s happiness.
  7. Happy days.

 

Whoop. I’m getting there!

 

PS. Hello speck of sand in an hourglass! Well look at this, you made it onto my blog 😉