Today, I will be open to negotiating conflicts I have with people. I will strive for balance without being too submissive or too demanding. I will strive for appropriate flexibility in my problem-solving efforts.
The Language of Letting Go
How I used to negotiate conflicts (Pre-Voldy)
- Conflict arised
- I listened to the other person’s opinion
- I raised my concerns and explained why I disagree
- I went with the other person’s opinion even though I didn’t necessarily agree with it (normally due to a fear of abandonment – yup, hello again)
- Even if they did agree with me after reasoning, I somehow convinced them to go with their original opinion due to guilt
- I resented the other person
How I used to negotiate conflicts (With Voldy)
- I didn’t. I just did what he said because I was afraid of the repercussions
- On the rare occasions that I did try to reason with him, we ended up doing what he wanted anyway, because he was either right or I was wrong.
How I negotiate conflicts now
- Conflict arises
- I listen to the other person’s opinion
- I express my own opinion and why I disagree
- I consider what they said
- I take into account how important the conflict topic is to them
- If the other party doesn’t fully agree with me, I calmly come to a compromise or acquiesce, if I feel that it was not detrimental and would be beneficial to the other person’s happiness.
- Happy days.
Whoop. I’m getting there!
PS. Hello speck of sand in an hourglass! Well look at this, you made it onto my blog 😉
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