Today, I will work at developing a clear sense of what belongs to me, and what doesn’t. If it’s not mine, I won’t keep it. I will deal with myself, my issues, and my responsibilities. I will take my hands off what is not mine.

The Language of Letting Go

My epiphany while watching “How to be single” was the concept of dicksand, which I have previously written about.

Losing yourself in/for/while with a guy.

You see, it’s not only about losing yourself. It’s about gaining them. Filling your (recently emptied) self up with their crap. Feeling responsible for their feelings/issues/reactions/perspectives…boy did I do that (esp. with Voldy). With him it was engineered, but even prior to this, I internalised many, many issues of others – not just in a romantic setting, but in all relationships. It had a catastrophic effect on my self-esteem and self-worth – as well as my mood, anxiety and behaviour.

I see marked differences in myself – only occasionally do I now flounder and catch myself falling into habits-of-days-gone-by.

So all in all, I’m kind-of out of the dicksand.