Mariya Ali

Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

Author: Mariya (Page 34 of 40)

Before I Kick The Bucket: My Bucket List

Very much a work in progress.

  1. Wear a bikini
  2. Skinny dip (somewhere secluded)
  3. Feed a kangaroo in Australia
  4. Play “Bright Eyes” on the piano
  5. Get published
  6. Prevent at least one girl from being circumcised
  7. Go on two dates in one day (possibly with the same person)
  8. Try laughter therapy and howl away
  9. Act in a play
  10. Sing “Mera naam chin chin choo” while on the Great Wall of China
  11. Take part in a flash mob
  12. FINALLY see Phantom of the Opera
  13. Tell my soulmate that I love him in St. Paul’s Cathedral’s whispering gallery
  14. Swim with dolphins
  15. Attend a Shabbath dinner
  16. Go to Graceland in Nanny’s memory
  17. Dance in the rain in a white sari
  18. Name my daughter after my beautiful grandmother
  19. Legally change my name to what’s on my birth certificate!
  20. Sip a virgin pina colada in Goa with my best friend
  21. Visit Seattle and make incredible memories with someone who treats me like a Queen
  22. Go back to New Zealand
  23. Visit the pyramids of Giza
  24. Go and see a play at the Globe with Dad
  25. Take my children to a pantomime at the Beck theatre
  26. Go on a Caribbean cruise
  27. Visit an ashram
  28. Have a deep, meaningful conversation with a monk
  29. Go skydiving
  30. Take a helicopter ride
  31. Go on a trip down memory lane with my family 
  32. Ask out the guy I like
  33. Speak 8 languages
  34. Learn Arabic
  35. Go to Karbala
  36. Do another Master’s Degree
  37. Go to Cambridge University
  38. Visit Antarctica
  39. Travel to 100 countries
  40. Play 50 songs on the guitar
  41. Produce a documentary
  42. Make a speech in front of 500 people
  43. Swim with dolphins
  44. See a great white shark
  45. See a killer whale in the wild
  46. Have a titanic moment on a ship
  47. Pee my pants from laughing too hard

Of Clouds And Silver Linings

Thoughtfulness is something that is taken for granted.  It is only after you cross paths with a selfish, conceited, self centered person that you truly appreciate this quality.  The type of person that I *almost* married. (Once again, thank you God for saving me).

I oftentimes wondered why I went through what I did.  I don’t deliberately harm others and I can’t recall a time in my (current) life when I have done anything that would warrant going through such a horrible ordeal.

But there’s always a silver lining to every cloud.  Be it a light, fluffy cumulus cloud; the giant bubbles of cotton that every 5 year old draws, or especially if that cloud is an ominous, thunderous nimbostratus that completely conceals the sun and deprives the day (or figuratively speaking, life) of light.  My relationshit with the ex was one hell of the latter.

And so what is the silver lining to this god forsaken cloud?  Well, there are many. Yesterday, however, one in particular really stood out.

Thoughtfulness: Given to or chosen or made with heedful anticipation of the needs and wants of others

It is refreshing for a friend to take into account where my train would be arriving to ensure that he is there to greet me when I reached my destination.

It is touching when my interests and hobbies are taken into account when plans are being made.

It is heart warming when a stranger shares a tissue with me to stifle my sniffles.

Truly appreciating and feeling gratitude whenever kindness is shown towards me is such an amazing feeling.   Good people mean so much to me and I value them in a way that cannot be described in words.

That, my friends, is part of the glistening, pure sterling silver lining of my nimbostratus cloud.

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The Contradiction of Escapism

When you need a break from your busy, hectic life…you go away.

A break from the mundane means an adventurous holiday.

A break from the stresses of everyday life means a relaxing solitary holiday, lazing around on the beach.

A break can mean a bonding trip with friends and family.

A break means a break from your current life.

But what if you want a break from being yourself? Then where do you go?

Sometimes, I just want to be somebody else.

India’s Attitude Towards Women: Statistics Can Lie

The girl in the Delhi metro

India’s Daughter. This one movie created a stir across the World. Banned in India, this is a piece that follows up on the fatal gang rape of a female 23 year old that took place on a bus in Delhi, India’s capital. The perpetrators were interviewed and an outrage was caused by what they had to say.

Singh says: “A girl is far more responsible for rape than a boy” is for rape. And, he adds: “A decent girl won’t roam around at 9 o’clock at night. … Housework and housekeeping is for girls, not roaming in discos and bars at night doing wrong things, wearing wrong clothes.”

The outrage was most certainly justified. However, I would like to spend some time showing the other side of India, the one that isn’t addressed in this film. After all, Indira Gandhi, the world’s longest serving Prime Minister, was female. And Indian.

I looked towards the door. In front of the exit stood a young woman, with her streaked curls tumbling onto her forehead. Her black dress, which ended only a little over her knees, hugged her fragile body. Standing on bright red heels, she stared into the compartment. The compartment stared at her.

Stories of Delhi – no, of Gurgaon! – rushed through my head. I wondered why she would want to enter this world, instead of the first compartment marked pink with white flowers. Her right hand clasped the strap of her Hidesign bag. She held it tightly against her body, and stepped forth into our hell. The compartment breathed the outside air, and waited for her eagerly.

I thought I saw the old man next to me nod in apprehension. The two men nearest me barged into me, compressing me in the process; I dropped my shoulders, brought my feet together and became insignificant. Every man around me reacted the same way and transferred, to some extent, the lack of space to his immediate neighbours. I waited for someone to burst out in anger and frustration.

And then, I witnessed the most extraordinary scene. The lady walked in and turned her back towards the compartment. Two young fellows and a pudgy, middle-aged man formed a semi-circle around the lady, around half a foot in radius. Men backed away, giving her a whole foot of freedom in front of the sliding door. Every other man in the vicinity gave up a few inches to accommodate the lady – to ensure they stayed at a decent distance from her.

In a country known for rapes and crimes against women (in the rape-capital of that country), I could see how statistics could lie. This was a most brilliant and inconvenient depiction of the same culture which is being blamed for violence against women.

“Ting-ting, ting-ting,” and the doors closed.

Great importance and emphasis is placed on family values in India. Sisters, mothers and daughters are for the most part, fiercely protected by their male relatives. There are always going to be men who have no respect for women, men who demean, belittle, hassle and attack women, but in a country with a population of 1 billion, there are many men who do not.

I have been encouraged by watching “social experiments” carried out on the streets of India. Actors and actresses play out different scenarios where the men are seen harassing the women and the behaviour of passers by witnessing this has been very encouraging. In fact, I have even seen footage of a male passer-by beating the male actor, to the extent that the actress had to intervene and explain that it wasn’t real.

Of course, India definitely does have a long way to go before equality is attained. We still have very traditional roles, there is still innate issues with attitudes towards women and we are still objectified in Bollywood. However, I don’t think the current state of affairs is quite as bad as the media is portraying.

After all, sometimes statistics can lie.

Page 34 of 40

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