Mariya Ali

Today, help me to know that I don’t have to allow myself to be pulled into negativity, even around those I love. Help me set boundaries. Help me know it’s okay to take care of myself.

The Language of Letting Go

The lure of depression is intoxicating. It makes you want to suck yourself ever-deeper into the black abyss of pain.

I remember how I used to shield my family – faking happiness whenever they were around. I would put on a ‘happy-face’ and pretend everything was okay – wiping away my tears and blaming my red eyes on allergies.

“What’s wrong?” Babesies asked me yesterday.

“Nothing” I responded.

“I know there’s something”.

That’s the beauty of having incredible family around – they just know. They can tell, by the subtle silence and feigned smiles, that something’s amiss.

And know exactly how to fix it.

Sigh. I love my family.

Today, I will search for my own truth, and I will allow others to do the same. I will place value on my vision and the vision of others. We are each on the journey, making our own discoveries – the ones that are right for us today.

The Language of Letting Go

Every day, I learn something new about myself – I suppose this is a continuation of my self-discovery, or perhaps my life has now shifted so that self discovery is just a part of my MO.

What am I learning? I’m learning that I have a lot to learn. I didn’t realise how complex and intricate I actually am. I honestly thought I was a simple being – after all, the simple things in life make me happy. I’m not.

I remember how Voldemort used to harp on about “life is about taking something complex and making it simple”. At the time, I agreed, because if you say something with enough conviction, it’s actually believable. Now that I reflect upon it, I disagree. Life is complex, but there’s so much beauty in complexity.

Today, I feel like my Language of Letting Go affirmation isn’t really applicable, so instead, these lyrics have been in my head all day and I wish to share them. They’re so fitting.

A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you’re fast asleep
In dreams you will lose your heartache
Whatever you wish for you keep

Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling through
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
The dream that you wish will come true

A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you’re feeling small
Alone in the night you whisper thinking no one can hear you at all
You wake with the morning sunlight
To find fortune that is smiling on you

Don’t let your heart be filled with sorrow
For all you know tomorrow
The dream that you wish will come true

Today, I will open myself to the love that is here for me. I will let myself receive love that is safe, knowing I can take care of myself with people. I will be grateful to all the people from my past who have assisted me in my process of opening up to love. I claim, accept, and am grateful for the love that is coming to me.

The Language of Letting Go

“A thousand half-loves must be forsaken to take one whole heart home.” ~Rumi

The difference between him and I, is that I do look back. I learn, I hurt and I regret. I still get chills when I remember his words: “In my search for perfect love, I have broken many hearts, never looking back because my search was more important and that when I found my lady in white, all of the pain would stop mattering”.

You know what? It does matter. The pain you caused me and so many other does matter. My tears and heartache matters. One day, when life brings pain to you, you will realise, but until it affects you, like in all respects, you won’t care.

I however, will keep kissing them frogs. Knowing that each frog, regardless of whether he turns into a prince, is still a perfectly nice frog.

Today, I will remember that there is no situation that can’t be benefited by taking care of myself.

The Language of Letting Go

Taking care of my involves focusing on my dreams, my visions and not focusing on my past.

Today, I will wait, if waiting is the action I need in order to take care of myself. I will know that I am taking a positive, forceful action by waiting until the time is right. Help me let go of my fear, urgency, and panic. Help me learn the art of waiting until the times is right. Help me learn timing.

The Language of Letting Go

Timing is a curious thing. Over the course of my (relatively short) life thus far, things seem to have happened at the right time. Of course, at the time life felt like it was crumbling, and it was – but it was crumbling at the right time.

So for the things that haven’t happened yet to me, I need to hang on to this thought – that everything happens at the right time.

It’s just a matter of sitting tight and waiting.

Today, I will consider whether a deadline might be helpful in some area in my life.

The Language of Letting Go

I struggled with deadlines in relationships – twice. Perhaps I need to stop getting involved with commitment phobes and psychopaths. Actually, DEFINITELY the latter.

I hate being in ambiguous territory – maybe it’s a lack of confidence, skeletons in my closet that haven’t been dealt with or a need for control, but that feeling of the unknown doesn’t sit well with me.

Maybe it’s me, maybe it’s them.

I know for sure that a healthy, adult relationship won’t make me feel like I am unsure of where I stand. So rather than setting deadlines, I think I just need to walk away from people who I feel I need to set a deadline for.

Essentially, I need to stop giving away my power.