I am so, so, so well versed and experienced in this domain, so I wanted to share my (almost expert) views on this topic.

1.  Put it into perspective.  If a guy dumps you, so what? It doesn’t make you any less of a good human being.  Remind yourself of all of your incredible good points and realise that it is 100% his loss.  If you’re unable to think of any reasons (highly unlikely, I’m sure you’re a beautiful person), call a good friend and ask them to tell you.

2.  Indulge yourself.  Do something for you, that you enjoy doing.  Be completely selfish.  Go for a manicure, or shopping, or read a book that you’ve been putting off.  Whatever it is that will make you feel better in that moment, DO IT!

3.  Put on “Roar” by Katy Perry on full blast.  Sing along at the top of your lungs and dance around like a crazy person! Don’t forget to roar like a lion!

4.  If point 3 doesn’t work, proceed to playing “I knew you were trouble” by Taylor Swift.  Listen to those lyrics!

5.  Haagen-Dazs.  No need to elaborate.

6. Meditate.  Quieten your mind and let go of all of the total-BS that the devil on your shoulder is whispering in your ear.  You know what I’m talking about – all of that negative self talk that the idiot most likely infiltrated your brain with.  To reiterate: he’s an idiot.

7. Immerse yourself among good people.  Whether it’s friends, family or members of the opposite sex.  Spending time with decent people helps you realise how indecent the wrong guy is.

8. Go cold turkey.  It’s hard, but really, you just have to pull the bandage off.  No guy is worth grovelling.

9. If you have to, burn things.  Or hit things.  Whatever it is that takes out your hurt and frustration.  Allow yourself to feel the pain, the anger, the guilt, the sorrow, just go through it all.  Then when you’re done, take a deep breath, peg it down to experience, and continue to be your awesome self.

10. Vent.  Vent it all out, to whoever it is you trust to talk to.  If you can’t think of anyone to vent to, then email me at mariya@mariyaali.com and vent to me! I promise I will listen and you will feel so much lighter when you have offloaded.  If it simmers and you end up needing to repeat the process, do so.  Keep going until it’s all let out.

11. Pick up a good, easy read that will make you laugh.  Nothing that’s too in-depth or requires too much thought, but just a pure page-turning entertainer.

12. Have a sitcom marathon – whichever show you feel like watching.

13. Have a good, long, relaxing bath.  With those expensive bath salts.  Or better yet, a bath bomb from Lush.

14. Get a haircut.  New hair, new man!

15.  Remember, you don’t really need a man to keep you happy.  Don’t settle out of fear, but wait for the right guy to come along.  And even if he doesn’t, a sperm bank and step ladder will work just as well.