The less you respond to negativity, the more peaceful your life becomes.

Author Unknown

One of my favourite quotes is:

The ultimate source of comfort & peace is within ourselves

Dalai Lama

Being able to ignore negativity used to be hard – at least for me. (I was able to ignore positivity with finesse!) Perhaps it was due to my (constant) struggle with low self-esteem, or maybe it’s a universal problem that afflicts everyone. One thing is for sure – it wreaked havoc in my life. Being an empath and therefore ultra sensitive, my mood and emotions used to hinge precariously on other people’s opinions. Add to that being part of a small community, full of ridicule and with a penchant for gossiping, and you have a readymade environment for a self-esteem-perfect-storm.

I’ve started to drown out these comments – or rather minimise contact with those who have historically consistently made them. I find that as time passes, I care less and less about the opinions of others – perhaps that’s a reflection of becoming more mature or having a drastic increase in self-esteem (hopefully it’s a mixture of the two).

Has this given me an internal sense of peace? Absolutely. I feel emancipated from the judgement of other people. It’s almost necessary, after the constant bombardment of comments to remind me of my single status (really people, it’s not a big deal; I’m perfectly happy).  I don’t feel a sting (for the most part) when I hear a (well intentioned) comment about how I have not settled down yet. Lately, it has given me the courage to campaign against FGM openly, using my real name. For many years, I used a pseudonym due to an intense fear of the repercussions for openly expressing my views. After a lot of work, I’ve developed a much healthier level of self-esteem that has given me an internal peace and comfort with myself.

After all of these years, I am free from the shackles of judgement, and brave enough to tackle my (happily-single-and-ready-to-mingle) life.