There was a time when words were used beautifully. These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great portion of the English language was boiled-down to four-letter words!
The exchange between Churchill and Lady Astor:
She said, “If you were my husband, I’d give you poison!!”
and he said, “If you were my wife, I’d take it.”
Gladstone, a Member of Parliament, to Benjamin Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows, or of some unspeakable disease.”
“That depends, sir”, said Disraeli, “On whether I embrace your policies, or your mistress.”
“He had delusions of adequacy.”
– Walter Kerr
“He has all the virtues I dislike, and none of the vices I admire.”
– Winston Churchill
“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.”
– Winston Churchill
“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”
– Clarence Darrow
“He has never been known to use a word, that might send a reader to the dictionary.”
– William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think, big emotions come from big words?”
– Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.”
– Moses Hadas
“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea, of any man I know.”
– Abraham Lincoln
“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
– Mark Twain
“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”
– Oscar Wilde
“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend . . . if you have one.”
– George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
“Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second . . . ,
if there is one.”
– Winston Churchill, in response.
“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost, like having you here.”
– Stephen Bishop
“He is a self-made man, and worships his creator.”
– John Bright
“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope, it’s nothing trivial.”
– Irvin S. Cobb
“He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.”
– Samuel Johnson
“He is simply a shiver, looking for a spine to run up.”
– Paul Keating
“There’s nothing wrong with you, that reincarnation won’t cure.”
– Jack E. Leonard
“He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.”
– Robert Redford
“They never open their mouths, without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.”
– Thomas Brackett Reed
“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.”
– Charles, Count Talleyrand
“He loves nature, inspite of what it did to him.”
– Forrest Tucker
“Why do you sit there, looking like an envelope without any address on it?”
– Mark Twain
“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”
– Mae West
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”
– Oscar Wilde
“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts .. . . for support rather than illumination.”
– Andrew Lang
“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.”
– Billy Wilder
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”
– Groucho Marx
